There are many decisions to make before your newborn arrives. Good communication is essential because the new parenting responsibilities can weigh down on you, reducing the quality of your relationship.
You need to discuss issues like night feeding, managing in-law visits, and how to manage finance when one partner has to stop working. Here is a list of the kind of conversations to have with your partner when you are pregnant.
1. How Do You Relate With Your Partner?
Your newborn will change everything, especially your relationship. You can easily become engrossed in parenting and taking care of little Johny. And you forget to pay attention to your spouse.
As a result, you start drifting apart. Research shows that the quality of the relationship of married couples reduces by at least 40 percent in the first year after having a new baby. This could affect your mental health and can make you feel guilty.
So, before the delivery date, create ways to spend time together when your baby is born. Decide to maintain at least one or two things you will do together every week. How will you still express your love and appreciation to each other?
2. Who Takes Care of The Baby?
Discuss childcare in detail. If both of you work in an office, who should give up work to stay with the baby? If you work at home, how will you combine work with babysitting?
Will you allow your grandparents to take care of your child or put the child in daycare? If you opt for daycare because of work, you must decide who will drop the baby in the morning and return to do the pickup.
3. What Parenting Style Will You Adopt?
Mothers and fathers tend to treat children differently. And in most homes, one parent is usually stricter in discipline than the other. Nonetheless, you need to agree on a common mode of discipline.
Will you adhere to religious tenets or adopt a more liberal secular approach? You also need to make sure you agree about bedtime or sleep training and limiting TV screen time.
4. How Will You Manage Night Feeding?
In the first 12 to 18 months, your baby will wake up at night to eat. Thereafter, the baby may stay awake and expect you to deny yourself of sleep too. Unfortunately, sleep deprivation is dangerous to your health.
If you have a terrible sleeper, you need to adopt some methods to make your baby sleep well at night. Discuss how you will manage the early months of poor sleep. Also, decide the number of months that you will sleep together with your kids.
5. How Will You Manage Your Finances?
Have sincere discussions about money. Plan how you will manage your home’s finances while raising your child. Be realistic about your family budget. How much will you need each month to make ends meet?
If mom decides to stay at home to take care of the little one, how long can she do it? If you insist on resuming work after a few months, can you afford the cost of daycare?
While discussing finance, make sure you include all the regular baby care supplies like diapers, wipes, nappies, and baby feeding formula.
6. How Do You Take Care of House Chores?
Taking care of your baby will take all your time. If your baby does not spend a long time sleeping during the day, you won’t have enough time to prepare a full-course meal and clean the whole house. So, discuss all your expectations and plans to take care of housework before your baby comes.
You can ask your neighbor to help you with meal preparation or cleaning. Or choose a particular day of the week for cooking. Put the food in your refrigerator and use your microwave oven to warm it when you need to eat.
After you handle meal prep, you and your partner can split cleaning and washing tasks.
7. Will You Breastfeed or Use Baby Formulas?
Breastfeeding offers the baby and mother health and emotional benefits. It gives your child good nourishment and creates a good mother-to-child bond.
However, diligent breastfeeding requires you to be available when your child is hungry. For stay-at-home moms, this is not difficult.
On the other hand, if you want to resume work shortly after delivery, you may need to combine breastfeeding with the use of baby formulas. If you choose to avoid breastfeeding entirely, consider how you will handle night feeding and plan a schedule for the preparation of each meal.
All these conversations may not always be easy, but they are worth the effort you put into them. Having frank discussions can save you a lot of heartaches and preserve your relationship during the first 12 months after childbirth.
